French has a reputation as the language of love, but textbooks rarely teach you what people actually say when they meet someone they like. Here are 31 expressions, in the order a real encounter tends to go: breaking the ice, being curious about the other one, showing interest, planning a date, and — if all goes well — saying the big words.

Most of these are informal (they use tu and drop the ne of negations, the way spoken French does). A few use vous on purpose.

If you prefer to hear them pronounced and like to watch movie clips take a look at the video on the Fluemingo Channel How to flirt in French — 31 expressions (YouTube).

Breaking the ice

Getting-to-know-you questions. Short, casual, and very common in a bar or at a party.

  1. "tu viens d'où ?" — where are you from? The standard way to ask someone where he or she is from. This will be asked to you as soon as someone hears you have an accent. In French casual communication, we don't invert verb and the subject.
  2. "tu fais quoi dans la vie ?" — what do you do for a living? Literally "you do what in the life?". That's the most natural way to ask for someone occupation or job. Alternatives would be: "tu travailles dans quoi ?", or "c'est quoi ton boulot"
  3. "t'as quel âge ?" — how old are you?T'as is the spoken contraction of tu as. You will hear it constantly.
  4. "t'as un copain / une copine ?" — do you have a boyfriend / a girlfriend?Copain / copine can also mean "friend" — context (and tone) makes the difference.
  5. "t'habites où ?" — where do you live? Useful to know if it worth it to go with someone ;)

Showing interest

  1. "tu me plais" — I like you One way to say that you like someone. Literally "you please me". This is a question of taste, not on the same level as "je t'aime", no feelings are involved yet
  2. "t'es drôle" — you're funny A safe expression to compliment someone's sense of humour without saying he or she's a clown You can also say "t'es marrant" or "j'aime ton sens de l'humour"
  3. "t'as de beaux yeux" — you have beautiful eyes It's not something you'll hear a lot, because it's a bit too much, too romantic but it's sometimes said in a playful tone refering to the 1938 film Le Quai des brumes ("T'as d'beaux yeux, tu sais") - a classic. Slightly cliché, and everyone knows it, say it with a smile.
  4. "vous êtes charmant(e)" — you are charming With vous: more formal, more elegant, more old-school. To use when someone is triggering something in you not necessarily due to his/her beauty
  5. "vous êtes élégant(e)" — you're elegant When someone is dressed pretty well, use that expression
  6. "tu dis ça à toutes les filles" — you say that to all the girls The playful comeback to a compliment. Keeps the conversation light. Often used by girls to discourage boys when they seem too confident.

Getting the number, planning the date

  1. "j'aimerais bien te revoir" — I'd like to see you again The polite, clear way to say you are interested in a second meeting.
  2. "donne-moi ton numéro de téléphone" — give me your phone number Direct. Soften it with tu me donnes ton numéro ? if that feels too blunt. A more authoritan way to say it would be "je vais prendre ton numéro de téléphone" or "passe-moi ton numéro"
  3. "je t'appelle" — I'll call you When leaving someone that you plan to meet very soonn, just say "je t'appelle". It shows a strong intention to see the other person again
  4. "je t'envoie un message / un texto" — I'll send you a message / a text You can replace "message", "Texto". "SMS" is less and less used
  5. "tu veux boire un verre ce soir ?" — want to grab a drink tonight? The standard first-date proposal. Boire un verre = "to have a drink".
  6. "je ne suis pas libre ce soir" — I'm not free tonight A gentle no — or a "not tonight". But please propose other dates if you're interested
  7. "demain, je suis disponible" — I'm free tomorrow Putting the time first is a natural way to emphasise it.
  8. "on se voit ce soir" — see you tonightOn replaces nous in almost all spoken French.
  9. "désolé, je suis en retard" — sorry, I'm late You will need this one. Add an -e (désolée) if you are a woman.
  10. "je suis content(e) de te revoir" — I am happy to see you again The second date opener.

Going home

  1. "tu veux que je te ramène ?" — want me to give you a ride home?Ramener = to bring someone back. Note the subjunctive que je te ramène.
  2. "tu peux dormir à la maison / sur le canapé" — you can sleep at my place / on the couchÀ la maison means "at home" — mine, in this case. Adding sur le canapé makes the intention (more) innocent.
  3. "pas le premier soir" — not on the first date Literally "not the first evening". Clear, and perfectly common.
  4. "j'ai envie de t'embrasser" — I want to kiss youAvoir envie de = to feel like / to want. Careful: embrasser means "to kiss", not "to embrace".

When it gets serious

  1. "tu me manques" — I miss you One of the most famous French inversions: literally "you are missing to me". The person missed is the subject.
  2. "je pense à toi tout le temps" — I think about you all the time
  3. "j'ai besoin de toi" — I need youAvoir besoin de + stressed pronoun (toi, not tu).
  4. "ne me quitte pas" — don't leave me Also the title of Jacques Brel's most famous song. Dramatic, by design.
  5. "je ne peux pas vivre sans toi" — I can't live without you
  6. "je t'aime" — I love you The big one. Be careful with the adverb: je t'aime bien means "I like you (as a friend)" — adding bien actually weakens it.

How to make them stick

Reading a list once will not get any of this into your mouth on a Friday night. What works:

  1. Pick the five expressions you are most likely to need this week.
  2. Add them to Fluemingo with a short note on the context (bar, text message, second date…).
  3. Watch the video above with the subtitles off and try to catch them by ear.
  4. Let the spaced reviews bring them back right before you forget them.

Five expressions a week, and by the time you meet someone, the words will already be there.